Drinks Bartenders Hate to Make, and What to Order Instead

Bartenders don’t hate you. We hate the clock.

Every drink here is fine on a slow Tuesday. Order one at 11pm on a Saturday, forty people three deep, and it turns into a problem. Not because it’s hard. Because it’s slow or loud, or it ties up a station for two minutes while the rest of the bar waits on you.

I worked a hotel lobby bar, a college dive and a brunch place with bottomless mimosas. The same drinks wrecked my night at all three. Here they are, plus when each one is totally fine to order.

1. The mojito, when the bar is slammed

A Mojito is lime, mint, light rum, simple syrup and club soda. Muddle. Build. Ice. Stir. Top. Slap the mint. A good bartender needs a minute and a half. In that time I can pour six beers and two vodka sodas.

Then there’s the mint. Bruised too hard, it goes bitter. Left in a cup under the rail all night, it goes black. And one mojito is never one. The table sees it and suddenly it’s six.

Quiet patio on a Sunday afternoon? Order it. I’ll enjoy making it.

Packed bar? Get a Daiquiri. White rum, lime, sugar, shaken. Same backbone, no garden. Thirty seconds.

2. The Ramos Gin Fizz

The final boss. Our Ramos Gin Fizz takes gin, lemon and lime juice, egg white, cream, powdered sugar, orange flower water and seltzer. You dry shake to whip the egg, then shake again with ice for a long time. Then you top it with soda slowly so the foam climbs up past the rim.

The New Orleans legend says the original bar kept a line of guys whose whole job was passing the shaker down the row. Nobody has that staff now. So one bartender stands there shaking for a full minute or more. Nothing else gets made.

Here’s the tell, though. If a bar keeps orange flower water on the back shelf, they want you to order it. Cocktail bar on a Wednesday? Go. Sports bar during a playoff game? Please don’t.

3. Anything from the blender

Frozen Margarita. Pina Colada. Both great. Both a pain.

Most bars have one blender. It’s loud enough to stop every conversation in the room, and it has to be rinsed between flavors. The ice ratio is a guess, so the first one comes out soup or a brick. And blender drinks spread like a rumor. One person orders a frozen marg and the whole bachelorette party wants one.

No machine? Ask for the margarita on the rocks. Same drink, no noise. If there’s a slush machine humming in the corner, though, go nuts. It’s pre-batched and pours like a soda. That’s what it’s there for.

4. Long Island, AMF and the rest of the five-bottle club

A Long Island Iced Tea is vodka, gin, light rum, tequila, triple sec, sour mix and a splash of cola. The AMF drops the cola and the triple sec for blue curaçao and 7-Up. The Tokyo Tea does it again with Midori.

Five bottles. Five reaches across the well. A fast bartender pours two at a time and it’s still two trips.

The bigger issue is why people order them. To get drunk for one price. Most bars know that. A Long Island usually carries about as much booze as a double, and it’s priced like one. Want strong? Order a double of the spirit you actually like. I can pour that in five seconds.

5. The Bloody Mary at brunch

A Bloody Mary is vodka, tomato juice, lemon, Worcestershire, Tabasco and a lime wedge. Easy.

Brunch makes it hard. Extra spicy. No, medium. Celery salt rim. Two olives, no celery, can I get bacon on it. Every single one is custom and they all come in at noon. At my brunch job I’d have twenty tickets up and every one was a Bloody with notes.

Bars that batch their own mix are fine. Order it the house way and trust them. They tasted it before you did.

6. Layered shots for a group

A B-52 is Kahlúa, then Irish cream, then Grand Marnier, each poured slowly over the back of a spoon so it floats. One is a nice little trick. Twelve is a tray of slow pours where each layer needs a second to settle. Then someone bumps the tray.

Want the pretty ones? Order two, not twelve. Or make them at home with our layered shots guide, no line behind you.

For the group, ask for a shaken shot. We can batch a round of Kamikazes in one tin and pour straight down the row.

7. The espresso martini at 11pm

The Espresso Martini is espresso, vodka, Kahlúa and white crème de cacao, shaken hard. It needs fresh espresso. That’s where the foam comes from.

By 11 the espresso machine is often cleaned, backflushed and turned off. Making your drink means firing it back up, dialing it in and dirtying it again. Fifteen minutes of closing work undone for one drink.

Lots of bars now keep cold brew concentrate on hand just for this. If it’s on the menu, they’ve planned for it. Order it at any hour.

8. “Something fruity, but not too sweet”

Hardest order on this list, and it doesn’t even name a drink.

Fruity and not sweet pull in opposite directions. So I guess. You sip. You make a face. It comes back. We do this three times.

Give me one anchor instead. “Like a margarita, but vodka.” That’s a Cosmopolitan or close to it, done. If you actually want sweet, own it. Our list of sweet drinks to order at a bar has names you can just say out loud.

The short version for being a good guest

Know your order before you reach the bar. Order the whole group’s round at once. Same drink for everyone if you can. Tip a little extra on the slow ones. That’s it.

The slow drinks are good. Make them at home, where nobody’s waiting. See which of them your bottles already cover at CocktailBuilder. Then shake that Ramos as long as you like.

Last modified on October 11, 2026